Spring break with purple sweet potato bread

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Spring break! Here it is, and boy is it beautiful outside! Living in the Bay Area is so incredible! There’s so much color and life in this area it’s unreal! For the first time since I started going to college I’ve had no major homework assignments to focus on or exams to study for, so I’ve tried to make the most of it by enjoying time with my family (eating my new favorite treat… enlightened ice cream bars) and baking.

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Just before spring break started I received two very special packages from a friend of mine in Colorado. Miss Emily sent me a doughnut mold and a jar of Georgia grinders pecan butter! With that, I got straight to work on coming up with new recipes! I haven’t completely mastered the one I’m going to post yet so I’ll save that for another post. However, today I’m going to share a recipe for something I came up with after enduring an emergency dental appointment. To make a long story short, after weeks of having a swollen face, I found out I had an abscess in my lower right jaw. When I went to have it investigated, they found that there was a piece of tooth root left behind from a previous extraction that caused a huge infection. It very well could’ve been connected to the heart problems I was having before. So, after the surgery to remove it, I ended up eating mush for the better part of a few days (still just getting back to eating solid food 😞). During that time I was determined to get my nutrients in. In an effort to do so I came up with a recipe for purple sweet potato bread!

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As for my body in the physical pain, I’ve talked about it so much on here I really just don’t see the point in bringing it up anymore. Y’all know my struggles… Spring break has had its own. Put it this way, once again I’m doing a lot of icing and heating and spending time at home, in pain. Psychologically and emotionally, it’s been wearing however I’m choosing to keep my chin up and praise God through this storm in my body. Well part of me wants to hope that I’ll run again, right now even working out seems impossible. For those of you pray, please pray for me because honestly I just don’t know what to do anymore. The best I can do is move forward, keep praising God no matter how painful this season is, focus on what’s in front of me, try to help others so I get the focus off of me, and bake till I can’t bake anymore! I’m going to cut this one short and leave you all with the recipe for purple sweet potato bread 🍞! I hope y’all have a wonderful spring. I hope to post soon with a new donut recipe!

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Purple sweet potato bread
-1 and 1/2 cup baked, then mashed purple sweet potato
-1 egg
-1 egg white
-1/2tsp baking powder
-1/2 tsp baking soda
-1/2 tsp almond extract
-1/4 tsp cream of tartar
Mix ingredients and bake 350° For 15- 20 min. Let cool and…
You may top with slivered almonds and a drizzle of honey 🍯
OR your favorite nut butter

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A little sweetness in bitter times

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Happy Sunday y’all! I hope things of been going well for you since my last post. My world things have been a bit challenging to say the least, however in the midst of my trials I’m finding strength in Christ, along with a whole lot of food inspiration! Best of all, I’m learning the true value of human life and seeing what really matters in life is not whether or not we achieve some earthly goal or possession. What matters is how much we love.
Now, since my last post I’ve continued to press on in school despite a lot of the giants I’ve been facing. For anyone who knows what it’s like to deal with PTSD while going to school you know my pain. For those of you don’t, it’s incredibly trying. For someone with PTSD things that are stressful to normal person are 2 to 3 times more stressful for that person. When stress hits it’s almost like chaos completely overwhelms your mind and you can’t think straight. Sometimes I flashback to a Trumatic experience in childhood or life in the middle of the day while I’m doing something and it can cause a panic attack. I’ve had to learn to focus inward and find peace in Christ in order to maintain my sanity. While I’m in the process of healing from it… when it rears its ugly head it’s not fun.

Along with PTSD I also have been battling the same issues with my back and legs. I stand in class, then I take moments of brief sit down time. This is all in order to make sure that I don’t get a back flareup.
Continuously standing in one place for too long has put a lot of pressure on the muscles in my legs, which later has an effect when I try to go for a walk to relieve stress. The stress from classes, life and the sitting that I still have to do from time to time has caused my psoas and iliacus muscles to be overly tight. The help that I need isn’t covered by my insurance, so I do what I can to get by on a day to day basis.

 

Finally, the stress of classes, health, finances, worries about my troubled loved one (and not getting to see her this week for her birthday)… chaos at home and trying to study through it finally just took it’s toll. Last Thursday I was rushed to the ER after I collapsed due to heart pain and chest pressure.
Now, I know that has a believer I’m supposed to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. I know that I need to find my peace in God. These things I try to do. Believe me, I do what I can to find my peace rest in him. What people need to realize is that sometimes no matter how strong someone is founded in Christ, life can become overwhelming. The enemy attacks whome he fears and he has definitely attacked my family and me. The thing is I refused to back down! I’m choosing to believe that God is working as always! Meanwhile, I’m off to another round of testing to find out if there’s a deeper issue. Since this is the second time within a year’s time that I’ve been admitted to the ER with heart problems, it’s time to take a closer look. And all honesty, my guess is that a lot of it has to do with my struggles with eating disorders over the years. Stress can do so much to you, but when you’re under weight it can kill you. While I’m currently just a few pounds from my weight goal given to me by my doctor… years of miss treating my body have taken it’s toll.

My point in saying all of this is to let you know that while people these days seem to focus on the damage that obesity can do to somebody, we also need to take a look at what being too thin can do to somebody. Eating disorders of any kind or not beautiful they. are. ugly., and this is the darkside of it. This doesn’t mean to go hackling at everybody who is super thin because some people are just naturally that way. However if you or someone that you know is struggling with malnourishment, any eating disorder of any kind whether it’s over or under eating… help them or get help for yourself ASAP! I can’t stress that enough! There are so many resources out there so many people who are ready and willing to help. For me, I found a lot of help through my support system which includes my mom and my God mom, my counselor, The ED community that communicates via social media, my church, my friends and so much more. There’s nothing to be ashamed of when you decide to step out and show love to yourself by taking care of you.
Thank In closing I just want to let you all know this whole thing has really help me see how precious and fragile life is. Every moment that I get to snuggle with my cat who seems to know when something’s wrong, that I get to hold my little nephew, hug my mom, go to church, see my friends, go to school, go to work… every breath I breathe is a blessing and it’s an opportunity to love. Whoever you are that’s reading this whether you are battling with an eating disorder or battling with bitterness, unforgiveness, or just need encouragement to press on… take a deep breath right now and thank God for that breath. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how incredibly awesome you are as a creation of God. Get out there and forgive, forget the drama, quit hating on each other and fighting over stupid junk and just love on each other. Embrace your mom, your dad, your friends, your loved ones who surround you. Just love!
As always I tried to leave you guys with a delicious recipe to enjoy until my next post…. so…

Sweet potato À la mode

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*Ingredients*
-1 medium sweet potato
-1 pint of maple vanilla arctic zero ice cream
-1/4 cup slivered dry roasted almonds
*Directions*
Preheat the oven to 350° and bake your sweet potato for 45 minutes to a half hour or until you can poke a knife easily through to the center. Pull it out of the oven, cut down the middle, let the potato cool just a little bit, and scoop some arctic zero right into the center. Top it off with your slivered almonds and enjoy! I had a little bit of the pint left over after putting some in the middle of my potato, however I enjoyed the rest of it just because it’s too good not to indulge!

 

* Disclaimer (thank you Emily for reminding me of this): I am not a health professional, I’m training to be one. I do not have my license, so any advice I gave is merely on experience. In other words your health care provider is the best person to consult for any nutritional advice.

When Nothing Makes Sense, Eat Chocolate and Keep Going

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I remember the first time I heard of Murphy’s Law. I was working in San Diego at linens n’ things in the Carmel Mountain shopping center. Things just kept going wrong for this lady who came through my line and she said, “you know that’s just like Murphy’s Law for me anything that can go wrong will.” At the time I didn’t really think anything of it. As time went on, however, I began to see that it times in life I can be quite true. One thing goes wrong and it starts a domino effect of continuous drama and trauma. More recently I have tried to remain as positive as possible. The thing is, this week everything finally just took it’s toll. Situations with my trouble love one brought up all the motions and dramatic memories of witnessing her being abused. The guilt that festered deep inside me for not stepping in… only to find when I spoke to my counselor recently about it she assured me it really that was nothing I could do without having harm inflicted on me, and that I really needed to forgive myself. With more recent events that have happened with her, finding out that she’s turned to harsher drugs and is now homeless… my heart aches! Knowing that everything in me wants to help her, however when I’ve done that in the past it’s caused me to fall into a dangerously codependent relationship with her that’s completely unhealthy. That being said I’ve had to make very clear lines to only be willing to be there and help her should she truly be willing to get up and change. Now, I find that the way to show that I love her to continue to go to school so that I can eventually help people like her who really want to get their lives right and to pour as much love as I can into her little one that my mom has adopted. The process has been trying, to say the least. I found myself trying everything I can to self heal and get rid of this pain. From seeing a chiropractor, physical therapist, and even doing the exercises in the book that was recommended to me called “Pain Free” only to find myself in utter pain.  With the treatment that I need so close but just out of reach, I felt nearly hopeless at times. Knowing that there is a remedy, however my insurance doesn’t cover it has just been a portion of the battle. Here it is just the beginning of the semester, I’m not even halfway through I’m so close to just giving up. Praying every step of the way. I know God is working but it’s so hard to see through the storm.  Right here right now I’m choosing  to praise! On an up side… I’be been gaining weight, and still maintaining good grades in school. I was recently promoted at work, was given an opportunity to share my story on my dear friend’s blog, and have opened my new business called Messenger Gear in which I sell clothes and jewelry to help raise funds and awareness to stop human trafficking. All being said and done, amidst my suffering I’m still seeing God work in mighty ways. I may be in pain now, but this can’t last forever. I’ll leave you today with a link to miss Emily Swanson’s blog and podcast series, some reviews of my recent food adventures, and a peek at the clothing line!

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One of my favorite new food addictions has been dark chocolate! Theo makes thee best sea salt almond dark chocolate bars PLUS Trader Joe’s has hit my sweet tooth just right with their cacao nibs!!!

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Aloha bars? … yesss please!

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Froyo with almond slivers and smothered in Hershey sugar free chocolate… yeaaaas!!!!

Now, onto the link to miss Emily’s blog post! Be sure to check it out and subscribe to her new podcast series!

http://beautyinchristthebook.com/darkness-light-healing-podcast-2/

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Finally… Messenger Gear! You can catch this new line on instagram as @messenger_gear the first round of shirts and jewelry will be giving a portion of the proceeds to help an organization called “The Glass Slipper” in which rescues women from sex trafficking! Be sure to also like my page on facebook!

 

Thank y’all for dropping in and sharing my journey with me… until next time… keep pressing on!

New Years with Turkey Soup!

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Well…. here it is, the New Year and… so much to be grateful for! Yes, me… the one who is scrapping cans and bottles together to buy food and gas is GRATEFUL. Why? I’m alive, I have family, friends, school, work… plus… I woke up this morning. I really have been fed up with stressing on little things. It seems every time my family and I have even begun to get ahead, we get knocked down. We see advancement in finances and health… then BAM… HIT! I got up this morning and was like, “you know what God… My life is not anything like what I wanted it to be. My body hurts, my spirit longs to walk, run, and race freely, my family and I are barely getting bye but You know what? Compared to others in poverty stricken countries… I’m filthy rich! So, I’m going to thank You for the MANY times you’ve shown up and sent provision, for the fact that I can worship You freely, and for the fact that I’m even breathing!” Then, this weight was lifted off of my shoulders! Why?

Matthew 6:19-21 – Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

In 2016, I kept focusing so much on what I didn’t have that I’d forgotten to stop and enjoy the many things I do have… I got so focused on “storing up riches” and trying to get financially stable that I’d forgotten that all of this is all temporary.

That being said, I want to just encourage you… whatever “resolutions” you may or may not have, keep a Christ perspective. Ask the Lord to show you what HE wants you to have as resolutions and to help work through you to build His kingdom for the benefit of others. For me, this means drawing closer to Him, asking Him to help me continue to build the vision He has instilled in my heart and to use my life for His glory.

This year, I was blessed with the honor of singing backup for the amazing Linda Jackson at our New Years Church service! That woman is absolutely incredible! What an honor to share the stage with such a beautiful legend.! I then wen home and enjoyed some sparkling cider with mom and nephew and… went to bed at 11:30… hahaha!!! Honestly, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Great fellowship and time with my loved ones… what more could I ask for?

Short post today, however… I’ll go ahead and leave you with some food victories and a recipe for some tasty turkey soup! I came up with my own recipe while trying out my new slow cooker that I got for Christmas (thanks Mommalou)!

Food victory… theo Dark Chocolate bar!!! This sucker is almost gone and has been such a delicious treat! Something I didn’t even allow myself to have when I was working out/ active and all I can say is… boy was I missing out!

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Sparkling cider… yes… this was a victory, because when you are restrictive, even things like sparkling apple cider can become huge phobias!!!

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Turkey Soup Recipe:

Ingredients

~1/2 turkey carcass

~4 tablespoons apple cider vinegar

~1 cup chopped turkey

~4 chopped carrots

~5 stocks celery Chopped

~1/2 white onion

~1 clove garlic minced

~1/2 teaspoon bay seasoning

~1/2 teaspoon sea salt

~1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning

~Rosemary to taste

~ Water to fill line

(Cook rice separately)

~1 cup brown rice

~1/3 cup broth

~1 and 2/3 cup water

Directions

Place carcass in slow cooker with vinegar and water to fill line. Set cooker on high for 3 hours, then place on low for 7 hours (overnight). Strain broth into an extra bowl  pulling all remaining turkey off the bones. Place bowl in the fridge over night. Pull bowl out and scoop off layer of fat from the top, place broth in slow cooker with seasonings, turkey, and veggies and set on high to cook for 2 hours. Then cook on low for 2 more hours or until veggies are tender. Meanwhile, place rice, broth and water into a pan to cook on the stove. Follow general rice cooking procedure for this.  Keep the soup and rice separate even in storage in the fridge, it will keep the rice from soaking up all of the broth in the soup. Put them together when you’re ready to consume!

What made this soup taste the best was that while making it, I did a bible study by Kevin Swanson (thank you miss Emily) with my mom. So, I was preparing fuel for our bodies while we fueled our spirits!

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I hope y’all have an amazing year! I’ll post as time and inspiration provides! God bless!

 

 

 

Carnival, Magic, plus pumkin brealfast bars!

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Hey y’all! I hope you had an amazing week! Mine was… well…. eventful! I started the week (as I mentioned in my last blog) with a visit to Dr. Runco then a stop to see my god Grammy who is still in the rehabilitation center. One of the greatest things I’ve been able to truly grab a hold of in this season is the value of people and relationships. Seeing god Grammy was like a breath of fresh air! While there, I was able to discuss (with my god mother’s sister) some possible positive goals to set my feet towards as far as education and/ or employment. By the end of the visit, I felt excited and ready to face some new challenges! The following day held the challenge of recovery. I did a very light, gentle, two mile jog and headed home. Wednesday I headed out after bible study for another jog. This one was about 4 miles. Then… my muscles tightened up and pain began! I consulted Runco and he instructed me to take it easy the next day and do a lot of stretching, so… I did just that! A light 3 miler with lots of stretching and ice… thankfully, stiffness and pain was gone by Friday morning! Mom took little guy and me to Fernandez park and like a happy little puppy, I headed off for a 4 mile run. Just as I was headed over a bridge to finish the last mile, I felt a tug in my left side. So, I pushed myself in by taking shorter strides. I made sure to cool down, stretch and prayed that it would subside. Meanwhile, I refocused on the Hilltop Community Church Harvest Carnival. I was set up as a volunteer to help with the games, so…. I shrugged off the worry about the tug I felt, and prepped myself to enjoy an evening of laughing kids, handing out candies and enjoying a free magic show put on by Alex Ramon (former ring leader of Barnum and Bailey Circus, head magician at Illusion Fusion voted best show two years in a row)! When I arrived at church, the set up was BRILLIANT! Huge jumpies filled the parking lot, games flooded the old sanctuary, and the anticipation of the illusionist show was in the air… and like a little kid…. I wanted to meet the guy behind the magic who actually attended my church in his childhood! After my volunteer shift ended, I waited with the crowds in the foyer for the doors to open, then we headed in for an amazing treat! Alex’s modern twist on classic illusions along with new ones of his own were amazing! I can honestly say that it was pure art! After the event, Janet (our pastor’s sister and church treasurer) told me if I wait till the crowd died I’d get to meet him. So… I waited. As I waited, I talked to his assistant, Meghan who is really involved in fitness and wellness and told me about Alex’s sister who does something called the ring wellness! As we chatted, I began to get even more inspired to set out on the quest I’d talked to my God mom’s sister about on Monday. As I continued to wait I was blown away by what I witnessed.. Alex took time and shook hands, took pictures and talked to pretty much everyone that walked up to him! My reason for waiting to talk to him? Well, here is someone who was raised by a teacher and truck driver (both hard and humble jobs to work), found a form of art that he practiced and perfected, now travels the world blessing people with his giftings, comes back to his home church to do a FREE show and takes the time to make each guest feel important. Ummm that shows a LOT of character! When I got up to talk to him I told him how encouraged I was by his story. We talked a little about what I do and when I told him why I run, he said, “tinkeredeemed! You tagged me on instagram!” Apparently he remembered me from a picture I’d posted and tagged with his name to advertise his event and apparently, he read my mini instagram bio! Wow! What a blessing! Anywho, like a kid I asked for a photo and autograph and like a sweetheart he gave me both =) I then headed home with new ideas and a heart full of hope for the future!
The following morning, I woke up and… I faced my current reality once again. Still unsure if whether or not the tug I felt was anything to worry about, plus worries about finances, the possibility of having to care for little guy while my mom works this upcoming week (meaning I risk further injury due to having to lift him) being that we can’t afford day care thus week… poor little guy. It’s not easy on either of us. uhhh I headed out to Kennedy Grove to the one place I knew I could jog, clear my head, and… pay my respects to my recently deceased God Dad. I pulled up to the fire trail entrance, parked and jogged in. I quickly paid my respects and headed out of the park and onto the streets for my favorite run in my original training grounds. About one third of the way out toward Valley View, the tug in my left side started up again. I carefully pressed on, went to my turn around point and headed back, tug again then… again… SOMETHING was off! I stretched out, got in the car, took off to do some quick errands and headed home. Man… my heart ached. I’m trying so hard to get back up only to continually get smacked down! Again, I shrugged it off and finished my day with a smile. Sunday, church… pain… I almost wanted to stay home, however I sucked it in, kept a smile on my face and headed off to enjoy the purple book class and service. This I’m glad I did! The presence of God was so thick if it were an ocean, I cold swim forever in it! On top of it, Pastor Jim’s message really helped me dig deep! It talked about the faultlessness of God and how Good calls us to pursue holiness. That we should be like Isaiah who, even though he was the”holiest”of men in his time admitted that he was a man of unclean lips the very moment he stepped into the presence of God! Man… something to definitely gnaw on for a while. I didn’t want to leave because again, outside of those doors the realities of life awaited me like laughing giants. After service, my family and I headed home. After lunch, my mom decided to take little guy and me to the park. There, I walked a bit only to feel the tug worsen. I’d hope that it was just muscle tightness, but the pain worsened even more when I headed to the car to go home. I nearly couldn’t walk and I told my mom I needed to see my Chiropractor our go to urgent care. Neither were opened, and tomorrow, well… I face taking care of little guy, praying that I’ll be able to do it without any pain. Not sure of if and when I’ll be able to get some relief from this… I just keep on focusing in the promises of God. No matter what, I’ll continue to believe that God will turn this situation into something good. In the mean time, I’m thankful for the fun that I’ve gotten to have along with the time spent with loved ones. As far as running and racing… honestly, I can only hope and pray for a miracle. Dr Runco has done an amazing job and hopefully he’ll help me get to the root of the issue and Lord willing ( now that I finally have medi-cal ) I may be able to get some sort of physical therapy. However, I choose to keep my chin up despite the pain and frustration of my current situation and encourage those who are in the position to race, run, and even just live in good health to do their best and give it their all. In closing, I just want to say that whatever hand life has dealt you, find something to smile or laugh about, love fearlessly, cherish times with your loved ones and most of all seek the Lord and He will guide you through even the darkest of times! Now on to the recipe!
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*Pumpkin Breakfast Bars*
Ingredients/ Crust
-1 1/2 cups brown rice flour
-1/2 cup rolled oats
-1/2 cup apple sauce
-1/2 large, ripe banana mashed until liquid smooth
-1/4 cup nonfat or 1% milk
-1/3 cup honey
-1/4 tbs vanilla
Ingredients/filling
-1 15oz can of pumpkin (trader Joe’s)
-2/3 tsp pumpkin pie spice
-1/2 cup (packed and slightly heaping) brown sugar (you can also use honey)

Directions
Preheat oven to 350° spray an 8×8 square baking pan with olive oil cooking spray. Mix banana, Apple sauce, milk, honey, vanilla thoroughly. Mix brown rice flour and oats together, then slowly mix liquid ingredients. Once thoroughly mixed, take 2/3 of the mixture and cover the bottom of the pan setting the remaining 1/3 aside. Now, for the filing, mix pumpkin, pumpkin pie spice, and sugar. Take mixture and cover the dough (inside of the pan) evenly using all of the mixture. Take the remaining 1/3 of the dough mixture, create little crumples and sprinkle over the top of the pumpkin. Place in oven uncovered for 30 min or until crumbles are golden, place out on a rack to cool and serve!
I hope y’all have an amazing and blessed week. If your get to try the recipe I hope your enjoy it as much as I enjoyed creating it! GOD bless 🙂
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