Amazing how fast time flies. It seems as though I barely had time to catch my breath during summer break, and now… here come classes in less than two weeks. This summer has been full of many ups and downs. I started off with the release from my chiropractor and physical therapist to start aqua jogging and lifting weights. A dear friend of mine bought a gym membership for me for my birthday, so I was so excited to be able to get back into the gym and start rebuilding my health. Little did I know, that would quickly come to an end. You see, many of the exercises at my physical therapist gave me worsened my health situation. Due to overly tight abdominal/ psoas muscles along with IT band pain (brought on by the band exercise given by the PT) my health began to go down hill once again. Outside of work, and responsibilities, I spent a great portion of my time in bed icing, heating, and just trying to find some relief. After a while, that became my comfort zone. I found myself getting off work and looking forward to heading to bed to lose myself in binge watching episodes of various TV shows. Yeah… I get it… totally unhealthy!
In the midst of the trials, a childhood dream of mine began to come to life. I dear friend of mine invited me to an event that sent me into a series of working in a field that I’ve always dreamed of. For now, due to the status of the project, I’m not at liberty to discuss the details. I will say though that while working on this project, I came to life! I would come home and my body just felt like I could do more regardless of my back issues. It’s as if every cell in my body ignited with joy and with passion knowing that I was on a road toward what I was born and created to do! If there were anything I could ever have in this world as a career, I would choose this. “Despise not the days of small beginnings” right?
Annnywho, finally I got sick of the work and bead routine. I was missing time with my beautiful nephew and mom.. isolated in misery, focused on all the pain and reminiscing on shattered dreams when something stirred in me. After my mom expressed how she felt about my behavior, my eyes opened and I was determined to fight back! I started stretching, and doing everything I possibly could to help my body feel better. I started watching movies with my nephew, pushed myself out to enjoy some time at a local beach with my family regardless of the pain, went on a few short walks alone, and did my best to enjoy what I do have.
Things seemed to improve for only a moment when I hit yet ANOTHER BUMP! This landed me at the Chiropractor two days in a row… feeling like there was a huge screwdriver being shoved in my lower back, hobbling through each day and praying to God I would be able to walk the next day. As my mom drove me home after my most recent visit to the Chiro… I sat there, looking at the legs that once took me flying through trails, over hills and mountains and streets… that now….. have a hard time making it through a day’s work let alone a nice walk on a walking trail. In other words…. they were nearly failing me. At that point, I broke… I. just. broke…. “what can I do about this semester? I can’t bear to face another one in this amount of pain! What about my dreams? What about the things I’ve always wanted to do with my life? Why is it that it seems that every time I reach for something things seemed crumble between my fingers?” All these thoughts began to rush through my head. Then I declare it out loud, “I will run again! This is temporary! God has a good plan for my life! I refuse to back down! I’m not giving up!” So, with these declarations, I’ve decided to go from a certain chiropractic company that is just surface level treatment and not working for me to working with someone I worked with before, who knows my history, does more in depth work and who will hopefully help me get some answers.
As for my eating patterns, it’s been an up and down roller coaster with me. There are days when I meet my calorie requirements, days when I exceed them, and days when I fail miserably at coming close to what I need to sustain and live. The fact of the matter is that I thought that being weight restored would make everything better. That somehow my body would magically begin to agree with me and allow me to have more freedom. This wasn’t the case. As a result I’ve daily battled the internal desire to do what the world has done time and again to me… abuse me. The thing is, this is a battle I’m determined to win with the power of God. Others may have abused me but I am not a victim! Others may have hurt me but I will not fall prey to self-pity or temptation to self abuse!
Today, I’ll leave you with this. I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I know I have dreams of being an actor, traveling the world, of being able to provide not only for my family and for myself… but also give back to the world around me, to make a difference in the lives of those around me for the glory of God… however, I learned that I have to leave everything out before the Lord and let him direct my path. His will. Not mine. Below is a recipe for a delicious time meal that I adapted from one that was given to me through a friend at the following link:
Thai Basil Turkey
~ 1 pound of ground turkey
~ 2 shallots, diced
~ 2 red bell peppers diced
~ 4 cloves garlic, chopped (I forgot to put this in when I originally tried the recipe)
~ 1 jalapeño pepper
~ 1 Anaheim pepper
~ 1 package of shredded red cabbage
~ 1 tablespoon honey (I didn’t measure mine when I put it in and probably added more than this)
~ 1 lime, juice and zest
~ 1/2- 1 cup basil (I bought a mini basil tree from sprouts market)
~ 2 green onions, thinly sliced
~ sea salt to taste
Place the turkey and shallots in the pan to cook until almost thoroughly cooked through. Add the remaining veggies and basil, along with the lime juice and honey and simmer until veggies are tender and turkey is thoroughly cooked. The original recipe calls for soy sauce, tamari sauce, OR fish sauce. I’m allergic to soy and tamari, and didn’t have any fish sauce so I opted out of it all. Feel free to try using anyone of those options if you’d like. I served mine with brown rice. As a result, it was a wonderful meal after dealing with a serious day of pain! Perfect comfort food!
Until next time… God bless and as always… keep pressing on!