The Lord Gives Strength

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Here it is… the end of my first real full semester in college (14 units), and what a journey it’s been! Far too long since my last post and I apologise for that! Now since my last post, life has been a whirlwind AGAIN! It feel like every step forward I’ve tried to make has had CRAZY amounts of resistance. Between starting a new job, figuring out transportation, doctors appointments, physical therapy, meetings with my counselors (emotional and school counselors), trying to help my mom with my nephew (who has been dealing with behavioral problems at home, having screaming fits) finding it’s better if I focus on building me, dealing with financial barriers, all while studying, writing papers, doing homework and (of course) attending classes, this season has been anything BUT easy. However, God has truly been giving me strength to bear it! I would love to say that I spent each say smiling joyfully and skipping through the halls of CCC, but in all honesty… I had a few melt downs. Between the physical pain I have dealt with off and on, stress of papers, homework and tests… I found myself crying in the bathroom a few times… praying, praising, crying, and pressing on! Crazy, I knew the Lord was calling me to go to college, but I never imagined that I would face so many challenges! In the end, I came out… a little brain foggy, but grateful that the Lord had helped me make it through. Well, here I am… in pain again, work, summer classes, and… well… not sure what will happen. My physical therapist keeps asking if I’ve seen a chiropractor, she keeps saying that I may need more extensive work, however… I’m not sure what all medical will cover. So… I’ve truly had to release my tomorrow to Christ. Will I have the health to make it through work and school? Will I ever be able to get free and become a productive member of society instead of going from one needy situation to another? Well, with Christ, all things are possible. In the mean time, I’m choosing to enjoy the good moments like a recent family trip for yogurt to celebrate Mother’s Day and my nephew’s birthday and another trip with my God mom to celebrate finishing finals. Also, I take joy in seeing good things happen to those around me. Friends who FINALLY got their new car that they’ve worked hard and long for, a friend who got her first paid acting gig, people I used to run with getting PRs and running their dream races, a friend of mine who just received a daytime Emmy award… why be happy for them you ask? Well, wouldn’t I want the same from others? It joys me to see dreams fulfilled because I know what if feels like to see every dream I’ve ever reached for fall and shatter to pieces. It gives me hope, that somehow… someway, God is working in my life too! I believe that soon, my mom will no longer have to carry the weight of my burden (she deserves so much more). Eventually, whether I live to see it or not, something good will come of all of this! Y’all be blessed! Live, love and enjoy every breath!

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