Keep Calm and Stay Golden

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photo credit worldcrops.com

Back again back again! What a week it’s been already! When I left off in my last blog, I was in quite a bit of pain. Monday I had to watch little guy while mom was at work, and the pain subsided briefly. Mom got home too late for me to go in and see Dr. Runco, and when she DID get home we headed to Fernandez Park to let little guy get some fresh air and play time. I went for a walk to see if the pain was something I just needed to walk out and as I headed back, the pinch in my left sciatic nerve became so severe, I could barely walk! In tears, I requested that mom take me to the ER. I’d had enough. There, they did a general overview, handed me an IBprophen, a muscle relaxer (which I reluctantly took),and a prescription for pain relievers and muscle relaxers. I headed to walgreens, got my pain relievers and ditched the script for muscle relaxers, why? Well, if you’ve followed my blog, you know that I’m over 7yrs clean from crystal meth addiction, so… as a recovered drug addict anything (other than the IBprophen) that can be considered addictive is not to be messed with unless absolutely necessary.  While I’m grateful for the help I did receive, I was REALLY bothered by the fact that they didn’t take xrays. I was, however, set up with an appointment to see a doctor at a clinic on Saturday. There, I was to meet with a doctor and head on a journey through the wonderful world of MRI,  and (should the Lord provide) chiropractic care (hopefully with Runco) mixed with physical therapy.
The following day (Tuesday) I went to see Dr.Runco to find that four of my vertebrae had been out of joint. He adjusted the issue, gave me clear instructions on how to recover and… I headed off to face the frustration of attempting to recover. The following morning, I attended the closing women’s bible/ book study… the whole time, my nerves were clenched. I was afraid to sit or stand too long due to the possibility of my muscles tightening and cramping. Meanwhile, I was fearfully anticipating a two mile recovery jog after class. Between the emotional and physical frustration and pain I’ve endured during this seemingly endless pursuit of healing… my mind and spirit were broken. I left class, braved up, headed out for a VERY slow two mile jog. Which, thankfully, went well. I then headed home to enjoy the remainder of the evening with my family.
Thursday, I headed out to Berkeley with mom to be able to get out and about while she was working. When we arrived, I headed out for a run! My body just felt… off. I guess that’s the only way to describe the way that I’ve felt while running for nearly 4 years now. While there have been many times when I wasn’t in pain, I honestly haven’t felt balanced and in harmony with my body for quite some time, and on Thursday… it worsened. The first two miles went ok… then, as I approached mile 3… a slight pulling in my left decided to flare up. I thought it might just be residual from the treatment, however… my spirit felt anxious and as I got closer to mile 4, the pulling became pain, I shortened my stride and soon slowed to a walk and headed to my mom’s car… heart broken. After she finished the account, we headed to the office of the property management company she cleans for to handle an errand… she headed in and as I waited for her, my heart continued to ache. Again, here I was nothing to show for the 31 years I’ve lived. Mom and I still struggling from day to day to make ends-meet, both of us hitting set backs left and right, and on top of it… MY HEALTH aghhhhhh! So frustrated, I bottled it up and got out to stand and give my body a break from sitting when a homeless man walked by wearing a “Cal” shirt that stated “Keep calm and remain GOLDEN.” Funny that’s really the hardest yet the only thing I needed to do. Stress kept trying to overtake my mind, not able to go to Runco’s office, awaiting my initial clinic visit through medi-cal… I was stuck!
Friday came, the pain was not so bad, but still there. More than anything, the emotional pain really ate at me. You see, over this past 4-5 years I’ve experienced 4 of the 5 of life’s most stressful events repeatedly along with the trauma caused through other various family events. At this point, I found myself beginning to question the goodness of God and I quickly (thank God for my mom who helped me with this) redirected my thoughts… psychologically .. I tucked myself into a ball in the back of my mind praying over and over for God to do something. Then I felt Him prompt me, “Child… walk it out.” I spent the majority of the day doing all that I could, meditating on scripture, going with my mom to run a few errands, reading the Bible, watched a movie, hung out on social media…. trying EVERYTHING to focus on something other than the waves I was facing. I headed to bed… cried out to God and said… “that’s it… it’s up to you. The enemy can take my body, shoot… he could even take my voice, but one thing he can’t stop is my heart that cries out in PASSION for the Lord.
Well, here it is… Saturday… I returned from my clinic visit and am now set up for xrays and an MRI and have been told to refrain from running until further notice. I will be consulting Dr. Runco being that honestly… I trust him and I want to get a well rounded perspective on this situation before I move forward in any direction. I truly believe that I will run and race again soon even though at this time it’s hard for me to stand, sit or run (sometimes even walking hurts) without pain that, at times, seems unbearable… yet, I’ll continue to trust God and His plan. His ways are not my ways… they are much higher. As for the other issues my family and I deal with on a day to day basis… well, I’m believing for God’s hand to move and heal the loved ones that need healing, restore the relationships that need mending, and to provide all things needed for us to move forward. In the mean time, I’ve taken steps (quietly) toward some positive goals to set my mind on. Stay tuned… you never know what the the Lord has in store. I pray that my story gives strength to those who are struggling by showing that no matter what, God is there… HE WILL come through! I’ll leave ya’ll today with a recipe for Apple Chips that I adjusted and made my own by adding a few twists! Have a blessed weekend!

PUMPKIN SPICE APPLE CHIPS
Ingredients
-3 Large Golden Delicious or Fuji Apples
-2 tbs organic, raw sugar
-1 tsp Trader Joe’s pumpkin spice

Directions
preheat oven to 200 degrees. line two cookie sheets with parchment paper. Cut apples REALLY thin (too thick will make ’em too mushy). lay out apple slices on sheets in one, even layer. mix sugar with pumpkin spice and sprinkle 1/2 the mixture over the apples. Place sheets in the oven and let bake for one hour on the center rack. Take out, turn over the apples and sprinkle with remaining sugar and pie spice mixture and place them in the oven once more for 1- 1.5 hours or until golden and crispy! Place on a rack to cool, and store in a tupperwear container.

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